Let us continue today with our ongoing series about the spiritual tool of recapitulation, as found in Almine’s beautiful book A Life of Miracles, that is just filled with these kinds of tools. We have already posted parts 1, 2 and 3, so be sure to check those posts out as well. When we left you, we just discussed the first 3 of a total of 9 steps to successfully learn from the past, by seeing what (1) the lesson is, (2) what the contract is and (3) what the role is. Today we continue our journey…
4. What is the mirror?
We pull relationships into our life that do one of the following things: they mirror an aspect of who we are, what we have given away, what we still place judgment on, or what we haven’t developed yet.
For example, if our innocence is gone, we may find ourselves intensely attracted to a young person. If we have given our integrity away, we might fall in love with a missionary who, in our eyes, represents integrity.
Another thing that can be mirrored, is that which we judge. If we have problems dealing with people who lie, then we are placing a judgment on them so we attract liars.
If a man isn’t in touch with his feminine side, he might choose a woman who is overbalanced in her feminine to make him feel more complete. Later, he becomes frustrated because he cannot leave town for the weekend because there might be a leak in the water pipes and she wouldn’t know how to handle the situation. These little irritations could build into resentment unless he sees that he deliberately chose her to mirror his underdeveloped feminine side.
5. What is the gift?
Every person we encounter has come to give us a gift and receive one as well. This applies even with the most casual acquaintance.
Ask, “What gift am I supposed to give this person?”. It may be something as simple as offering him the gift of unconditional love; or we may recognize something beautiful in him that nobody else has seen; or we may genuinely listen to a man and for the first time in years, he feels heard and understood.
Another time we may encounter a woman who reacts with bursts of anger and we have the opportunity to demonstrate our mastery of the situation.
Note – The last four questions (6, 7, 8, 9) deal with our attitudes surrounding the answers to the first five questions (1, 2, 3, 4, 5).
6. Can I allow?
This is the point of discerning what has to be allowed, what has to be changed, and finding the courage to act. Imagine yourself as the water in a river. If a rock is in front of you, are you going to stop or flow around the rock? We have masterfully created every situation in our life—even the rock—so can we just allow it to be there for this moment? Is this battle ours? A battle is only worth fighting if the stakes are worth having. If you have already learnt the lesson, no need to re-fight this battle.
To be continued…
Yes Neils, #5 hit a note for me as well. I have been going through this experience with a lady with deep unresolved issues which manifested in anger, black magic (which did not work on me I am happy to add!), and various negative behaviours of ignoring, gossiping about me, not acknowledging me, etc.. and I have stood back, not doing, just being and this has been going on for 2 months now. It is a power struggle, waiting to see who will break down first or something to that effect, ego, and inability or unwillingness to surrender! At first I thought I had to learn the lesson of compassion then #5 and it became clear that I am to learn mastery! so this is a big one for me and the emotional highs and lows have been so difficult, I am one who does not feel very much all the time, or will not allow myself to? still working on that one! Yesterday I allowed myself to get petty and vent to trusted co-workers, but it did not feel good at all. I feel I am slipping but oh well! I am allowed to show my real self to some I trust! like I said, so much there! Thank you for this posting Neils! and Siany, thank you for the lighthearted, joyful, beautiful expressing! So right for me at this moment!
To me, there is nothing wrong with venting ones heart, as long as it is done with perspective and insight that it all lives within yourself, Lydia. I have had to learn discernment when to stand my ground and when to let something slide because it is not worth my energy… and as Almine states, every battle, every conflict is about energy.
So, conscious choices of how to respond to your environment, the juggling game between beingness and doingness, the combination of both and, indeed, seeing what the gift is… seems to me like a much better game plan than just a plain old knee jerk reaction! 🙂
shining siany, I loved your sweet supermarket tryst!
Next time I will rephrase “do you realize how beautiful you are” I’ve just realized that is a question which is asking for a yes or no answer. I just assume that people can see through my eyes how beautiful they are so thank you for reminding me to keep it simple.
Well, through my eyes, Awesome Avril, you are most definitely a starburst of the highest, most delicious, joy provoking order who calls forth my most mischievous, joyful, playful essence to come out to play & dance 🙂 (for anyone who has not experienced an online yoga session with Avril present, I kid ye not, I just have to take one look at her beautiful radiant face on Skype & my heart starts singing & joy & laughter starts bubbling up from within… sometimes in an uncontrollable whoosh which has me collapsing in puddle of giggles!)
Thank you, Niels! I was looking forward to these.
I particularly love number 5. Recently I was at the local supermarket & a lady who looked about 70 came whizzing round the corner of the aisle. Before I had a chance to engage my brain, words started coming out of my mouth & I heard myself say something along the lines of ‘you look so beautiful you stopped me in my tracks!’ (which was completely true, she was very beautiful & radiant & looked so lovely & she had indeed stopped me in my tracks with her loveliness).
The lady looked so startled for a minute & then I could see tears in her eyes. And she whispered softly ‘no one has ever told me that I am beautiful before’.
Well, then there were tears in my eyes too. Had I thought about it first I might not have said the thought outloud. But it reminded me of precisely what you wrote here & to try to walk on this planet in the most loving way I can, whatever that looks like in the moment.
Whohoooooo! That is just… awesome! Thanks for sharing this Siany, and to being an inspiration to others to walk in the same manner…
Niels
Team Almine
Bless you, little magical mind reading magician, who miraculously pops up on my computer screen with exactly what I need to see at exactly the right time!