There is no such thing as an external standard of happiness; a set of circumstances under which everyone is happy. Some are happy to have a job. Some are happy not to have a job. Some are happy to have a space of their own, some are happy to have others to share space with. The ultimate source of our happiness is our innate gratitude and acknowledgment of whatever blessings we have; acknowledgment of the things we encounter that inspire and enrich us. We cannot make another happy, nor try and fix what we think is a source of their unhappiness.
Happiness as an external standard does not exist —- the concept is too subjective and arbitrary. It cannot even be deduced from how much someone else complains since many love the attention they get when they complain; it makes them happy to complain. It is a fruitless and futile endeavor to concern ourselves with how happy or unhappy someone else is, for it is unknowable and defies even their best attempts to explain it. Furthermore, because of our flawed tendency to compare our life with that of another, there will forever be something we think we ought to have before we give ourselves permission to acknowledge that we’re happy.
Happiness arrives gradually and with such stealth, that we hardly know that it’s there. Let us replace the illusion that our happiness depends on external conditions, with the grateful acceptance of the deep peace and poise we have earned by being content with what we have, rather than the victimhood that comes from focusing on what we don’t have.
~ The Seer Almine
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