Once in class, I mentioned that I found that the feminine can be quite confusing and give a lot of mixed messages on the surface. You said “ I agree “ when I asked if that’s accurate . . Can you expound on that?
Well technically that’s accurate. But if you ask a biased question, you’ll get a biased answer … if you had asked instead whether people in general are very confusing, my answer would have been more clear, if I had answered “I agree”. I’m in a constant state of perplexity at just how unclear and dishonest people are to themselves and to others. The reason this is so, is that they are lacking integration of thoughts, feelings, and actions.
What this means can best be illustrated by an example: Person A encounters a social invitation from person B. A really doesn’t like B and dreads spending an afternoon in B’s company, so A thinks of an excuse to have to leave early. A accepts the invitation graciously because it is expected by all involved (first inner conflict between feelings and thoughts ). A goes to B’s event and shakes hands or hugs B fondly — because A doesn’t want to be seen as rude (conflict between feelings and action). A is the first to leave at an opportune moment, by making the dishonest excuse of a previous engagement. A excuses this “White” lie to themselves based on not “wanting to hurt B’s feelings” (conflict between mind and actions ). If A feels bad about lying to themselves, they may even validate their actions by gaining the agreement of another sympathetic listener, this compounds the inner conflict by augmenting it and externalizing it. But now A feels justified to pretend to like B when that’s not true —- self-dishonesty.
As you can see from this example, there are many influences that dictate our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I have during the past years stressed cultivating authenticity in our actions. But it will take a very concerted effort to diligently integrate our thoughts, and feelings and actions, and remove all dishonesty from our motives.
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